Divine Evening, welcome to 360 Speaks! Today’s blog is about sexual abuse. Something that is big within the world, especially the melanated community and it has always been “swept under the rug” and “turned a blind eye” towards. A lot of women, including myself, friends, family members have all experienced sexual abuse. I was molested at a young age; others close to me were molested and raped. This is an issue that is hard to talk about with others, but it has been ignored for way too long. I and other women feel that this needs to be spoken about more and more to keep future generations from experiencing this trauma.
I was molested around the age of 6 years old. I did not start my healing journey from it until I got into my 20s. I do not remember the incident, after going to counseling in my 20s, I learned that when a traumatizing event happens in a child’s life, the brain will not remember as a way of protection. This relative had been watching and seeing a lot of adult entertainment, now have this relative ever experience sexual abuse as well, I do not know. Whatever this relative was learning, she acted things out on me and her sibling. From what I have been told, she manipulated me and her sibling into having sexual intercourse. Us being the youngest, especially me, we had no clue what was happening, but we did as we were told. Sexual intercourse was not successful for two reasons, one with us being children and not fully developed, the sibling penis would not fit. Two, an adult came in at the same time all of this was happening. Although my memory is not clear on this moment, I know it occurred because it affected me mentally, physically, and spiritually growing up. After this incident, multiple incidents continued to occur during my adolescent and teenage years. I was manipulated again by the sibling into inappropriate touching. During my teenage years, the same sibling exposed himself multiple times which continued to affect me. From these incidents, a sexual addiction was developed at an early age until adulthood, starting with constant masturbation leading to multiple partners as an adult. These incidents were never spoken of because I had a lot of shame, embarrassment, and guilt thinking it was all my fault in some way. I had to face this trauma, acknowledge it, and heal from it.
As a woman who has experienced sexual abuse multiple times, firsthand, I now say we need to speak on these incidents because they are not okay. The shame, guilt, embarrassment, etc. is not our fault. The blame is on the offender and all who “sweeps it under the rug” or “turned a blind eye”. I know a lot of women who are sexual abuse survivors and I personally feel they should share their story when they are ready. The more women coming forth and speaking on this issue to stop this, will hopefully save the future generations. Also, I would like to point out that not only women are experiencing sexual abuse but men as well. Even with men and boys, this issue is “swept under the rug” as well and it is still not okay. Not many men speak out on being molested or raped, especially when an older woman is the offender. I have spoken with many men who thought being sexually abused by an older woman was okay and it is not! Women and men offender’s need to be punished. Men also need to take space to face their trauma, acknowledge it, and heal from it as well. Speak out, men!
After speaking out, whether to a counselor, close friend, to the world, etc., then comes the step to heal. It takes a lot of strength to face and address the trauma and heal from it. My healing process consisted of a lot of crying, journaling, doing healing rituals, lonely days, depression, etc. I went through it all during my healing process. I took things day by day to get through it. I recently took a womb alchemy class which I feel released the rest of those traumatizing experiences. Women and men that are interested in taking these alchemy healing classes, email me! I also did a lot of spiritual baths, yoni steams, meditation, prayer, and now sharing my story with the world to fully heal from that trauma. Some women face their abusers as the final step of healing. Everyone’s situation is different, if you feel led to face your abuser, then do it. If not, then that is okay, just make sure you heal from that trauma. I did not face my abusers, and I am okay with that. I have taken space to heal and now assist others to heal and move forward as well.
In my opinion, the best step to move forward is by knowing this issue is not okay and standing up for this concerning issue. Protecting the children as well and having safe space for them to talk about it in the case they experience it. It is all about knowing who to trust and talk to, getting justice, if possible, healing, and moving forward. I encourage all women and men to share their stories and be a voice for the ones, especially minors that feel they can not speak. Protecting each other is the goal.